Kings Ransom-Jeff Sers

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Author: Alan Smithee

I dealt with Jeff about ten years ago. I was no angel either. I didn't do drugs or drink, but I had a very physically demanding job at the time and I lived on Hydroxycut and energy drinks.

Most of the time I was recording at his studio, I was dead tired from my job and taking handfuls of legal trucker speed and guzzling coffee by the gallon just to get through the sessions.

That's because Jeff wouldn't book studio time around my schedule, so I had to adjust. So, I was always pissing like a race horse during the sessions and basically tweaking out of my mind. I was cool with the whole Jesus Phreak thing and I still am. His wife and kids were there at the time because the studio was in their house.

Everything was done on handshakes and all money was up front. It took about six months to make the album because of my schedule. I paid for a physical backup of the project on a separate hard drive, but at the end Jeff said I didn't pay for that. I also paid for a piano player to come in and add color to the tracks. The shit sounded horrible and I could tell it was just him and his buddies taking my money, but not talking me seriously.

At one session, one of his buddies was there and he had just run sound for Carrot Top the night before. He was completely full of himself and the bloated asshole was shitting all over my music right in front of me.

I always accepted that stuff as part of the deal. When you're forced to pay somebody else to record what you hear in your head, you're at their mercy. I know now the only way to get what you want is to do it yourself.

Jeff's guitar work was 80's metal sounding and it added some interesting aspects to the music, but I secretly gave him one track to walk all over as a throw away, just to get what I wanted on the other tracks.

My main issue with Jeff was how he fucked me over at the end. The songs needed to be cleaned up front and back, which is an easy fix. I made a plan with him to do it and I paid him for it. He didn't do shit; he just ran the whole session through a new compressor he bought, while he did something else. I showed up as the shit was finishing and could tell that's exactly what was going on.

He handed the disk to me in a rush and quickly ushered me out the door. I got the disk cleaned up at another studio about a week later. It's my own fault and I accept that. I learned some hard lessons from those sessions and I never forgot that bullshit. I think it was the final catalyst to make me learn how to do it myself.

Dark Horse commented on 26 Feb 2013, 23:09:41
On behalf of at least two other musicians and myself, who have worked with Kings Ransom and Jeff, the producer, and have had nothing but stellar musicianship, masterful engineering, and great results from this studio, I must respectfully and heartily disagree. I can just see Jeff handing over a mix and shooing out a whack job as fast as possible. The music biz, man. You just gotta laugh sometimes.

krstudio commented on 07 Mar 2013, 17:28:32
This is Jeff from King's Ransom. I've never charged up front. I've never heard of Alan Smithee either! I do know who this really is however. The rant above is completely made up.
Cheers
Jeff

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